Is accountability what we should be promoting?

I've been researching accountability lately because I hear a lot about it in the discipleship movement. I have to wonder if we're missing the mark though. Don't get me wrong. Accountability is part of any healthy and prosperous relationship. But that's just it. People almost always run for the hills when they hear the word accountability, but if you tell them you'd like to go out for coffee so you can catch up with them, they are actually attracted to the opportunity.

Perhaps what we need to focus on is developing healthy relationships in which accountability is a natural and desired element. I know that I am far more likely to listen to the advice or correction of someone I know sincerely cares about me, then from someone I was randomly partnered with at a Bible study or in a small group. In fact, a small group of people I care about and which cares for me is far more likely to influence me and my lifestyle than someone holding a "To Do and Not To Do" list that only cares about making sure I'm held to account.

Perhaps it's just semantics, but I think we might do ourselves a favor if we focus on loving people like Jesus did. He changed lives and cultures because He knew those to which He spoke. He lived amongst them. He ate with them. He might have fixed a chair or table while building relationship with them, after all He was a carpenter. He recognized the needs in their lives and worked toward seeing those needs not just met but totally satisfied. When He did His thing, people were attracted to Him, not repulsed. His unconditional love for people regardless of race, gender, beliefs or actions caused people to want to listen to what He had to say.

This kind of relationship does not come easy. It is hard work and it takes time. Nevertheless, the model Jesus set for us is that when our friends fall we help them back up, when they are dead we bring them back to life, and when they are not thinking and living Kingdom values we might even have to tell them "Get behind me, Satan", because our relationship is healthy enough that they will stick around and make things right.

I still have a lot to learn, but this is where I am right now. Running after healthy relationship.