Monday, November 20, 2006

When should I be satisfied?

I was listening to a sermon by Rob Bell today. I believe the title was "What about him?". It was about the history of man asking "What about him?" when confronted by God regarding issues in his own life. Ever since Adam we've been pointing at someone else to blame. We've been uncomfortable with who we are and try to divert God's or everyone elses's attention from our issues by pointing to others. Even Peter did it when Jesus was asking him "Do you love me?".

I was backed into a corner with me and my Master. He was asking me if I'm comfortable with who He's made me to be, if I'm content or satisfied with "my lot in life" as He decides it should be. He brought me face to face with the tenth commandment in a new way. All too often I look at all that others have and think, "God, why can't You bless me like that?" or "I wonder if I'd done this defferently if I would or could be in that place." No, I'm not covetting my neighbors wife, man servant, nor his maid servant. I'm not trying to figure out how to get any of those things, but I just might be trying to figure out how to get an iPod like that, or a car that's still in warranty, or a house I can call my own. In my heart, the greener grass on the other side of the fence has established a deep seeded covetousness that I have to give up. And so today, I ask my Father and King to forgive me for breaking His law. I ask not only for His grace in forgiveness, but for His mercy and beneficence in restoring me or instructing me in ways to find satisfaction and pleasure in my spot, His perfect will for me. I seek this gift not only for myself but for my family. I need coaching and mentoring in my thought life, my lifestyle, my attitudes and in the way I act and react to my family. For you see, they quite often become my surrogates, my proxy, my excuse. I think, "They deserve better than this, God. They are worthy of so much more.", when in truth I'm saying "I deserve better. I want more. What You've done and what You're doing isn't good enough. You can do better."

This one may take a little time, but I know that You will be faithful to complete the good work You've started in me. Make it so, Master. Make it so.